From Madam Alice.
Poppet asked an interesting question about whether John is viewed as my partner/ Boyfriend by those that I work with. The simple answer is Yes, they do. There are very few people around where we live and work that don’t believe that John and I are a couple in a long term relationship.
This is flipped when we go back upto Leicester to see the family, where myself and Mick are very much the married couple.
To explain this I was going to repost some posts from the old blog but I thought that I could perhaps add some detail that would explain a lot better how this all came about.
We started the FLR when we lived in Leicester in 1998/99 and it really started in earnest in 2000 when I reached out to Carol, with the Guidance and development from Carol I learned to develop and become more confident with myself and to take ownership of our marriage. This was not a one sided matter, Mick was very much part of the conversation and also very involved in making the decisions – this was not me telling and him doing, it was lots of talking, understanding each other and agreeing what we needed to do and what we wanted to do.
Mick was on the mend from his breakdown and he was the one that recognised that our sexual side of our relationship need to change. He was really concerned that I was getting sexually frustrated. At the same time I was learning from Carole that I had a Bi side to myself and also about the cuckolding side of Carole’s relationship with her husband kevin/ kerri.
Mick had already suggested that he would be OK with me having an affair or one night stands of it would meet with my sexual needs. I want to point out that Mick was not pushed or forced into that, he came to me and we talked it through, he was worried that I might go looking for a relationship else where and this was his way to offering to keep the relationship together.
Well he got probably the second biggest bollocking of his life (the first was when he was well enough after his breakdown to know that I was angry at him for doing what he did), he was bollocked because if there something in this life that is certain and that is that I love Mick and I had never even considered or thought of leaving him! I get so much from my husband that the physical aspect is way down the list of why I love him and why he is my partner and soul mate. (sorry if that was a bit too sickly and lovey dovey but it is a fact). Mick was,and still is, a very good and considerate lover, it was just a fact that his breakdown had impacted on him physically as well as mentally and it was going to take quite a bit of time before he was starting to improve physically and sexually.
By creating our FLR and allowing me to become the Alpha and Mick to be the beta we stabilised the marriage and it gave a good base for Mick to recover.
We found that by creating different characters for ourselves we could have a the FLR as our normal routine but also have a vanilla face for the outside world. So we created billie and Madam and kept Alice and Mick for dealing with Friends and Family.
The chance of getting a promotion at work and the need to move to another branch of the Parent Company threw up a number of possibilities for us. We could normalise the new relationship, really make it the daily routine.
It was Mick that made the suggestion that got both of us thinking. We were moving to a whole new area, this branch of the company were not directly linked to the Leicester company, so there was an opportunity that I could go and have the occasional night out and perhaps have an occasional fling.
Mick was already negotiating on the house, which while it was a renovation nightmare, it offered a rural location with very few neighbours, the ability for Mick to work from home with his Consultancy business and it was close to work but not too close. Micks suggestion was that when I start at the new job just drop the Mrs Luff and use Ms Luff, “don’t tell just let them assume that you are single/ divorced or what every they liked”. As it turned out we didn’t need to do any of that, the Leicester HR department did it all for me.
I left school and started with the company in Leicester in the admin office, so I was registered with the company with my maiden name. I worked at various roles in the company until I was allocated to one of the Senior Engineers as his department’s admin support, he spotted that I was quite useful with the design and project teams and suggested that I get some training to become part of the Project Teams rather than the admin assistant. At this time I met Mick and 2 years later we are married.
I didn’t realise that no one in the HR department had updated my details to have my married name. For all of my time in the Leicester company, my department used my married name but the system still had my original surname.
My boss encouraged me to apply for a promotion and move into one of the Project teams at Milton Keynes, that branch was expanding and they wanted Junior Project Managers so I applied. The company had a policy that all applications and CVs would have personal details removed and a simple candidate number was added.
The result was that at no point in my application or at the interview was my surname used. Luckily I got the job and my personal file was moved from the Leicester office to the Parent Company Office in London and then out to the Milton Keynes office still showing that I was a Miss and with my Maiden name.
The details of all of this came to light for us when the company sent out a welcome pack, I showed it to Mick and he just told me to go with it, arrive and be the new Madam Alice using her old maiden name.
Fast forwarding to when I met John, it had been through a dating site that dealt with Married Women to find men for “fun”. we met and I explained from the very start that I was seeing John with the full knowledge and consent of my husband. John was curious but not shocked, he’d previously had a short relationship with a couple where the Husband liked to watch his wife fuck her boyfriend. I explained that we were not quite like that and that we were in a Female Led Relationship. John acknowledged this and our first date together had a very interesting conversation where John asked lots of questions, not in a bad way, but in a very deliberate gathering knowledge type of way. He also liked the fact that I was using my maiden name.
On our second date I found that John had done quite a bit of research and he was well prepared with questions that added depth and detail to what he had learned. He also told me that If this was going to become longer term thing then he would like to be more public with me. He made it very clear he was not looking for Marriage or to break up a marriage. At this point I was starting to think that we had potential here with John.
Over the next few weeks and months, the relationship was working very well and John made it clear that he would like to meet and talk with Mick, just to make sure that all of this was true. We all meet up and the conversation was very good, open and honest from all three of us.
John followed this up with a couple of meetings with Mick on his own, again this showed us that we had a individual that was open to, but also understating, of the way we lived and wanted to develop.
billie’s post from November 2018 covers it rather well from his perspective while focusing on the rules for John and billie’s relationship, The link is below and it is worth going back and having a read of it
https://madamssubhub.com/2018/11/
I’ve also extracted the important parts:
with everyone in agreement and aware of each others wants, needs and limits we started our 3 sided relationship, with the public face being that John and I are a couple.
Some people at work keep expecting that there will be a wedding between us, but we keep pointing out that John has been married before and that was not a good part of his life so he doesn’t want to get married again (which is totally true), but it provides a good way to shut down any marriage suggestions.
The only time that I’ve had questions asked about who Mick is was by a couple of people at work in the early period when I started working there, and we had come up with the explanation that when I bought the property there was a Office and a Storage area on the site that the previous owner rented it out and I’ve continued to do that to Mick to run his business from them, “The rent has helped to pay for the renovation of the house overs the years”. It seemed to have worked as a reason.
That has been quite a long post just to say that to the majority of people that we know locally see John and I as a couple. Hopefully it adds some context.
Thank you for the clarification of your personal situation Alice. It is a really interesting lifestyle you lead and I find it fascinating when you add little details like this. I was delighted to see you blogging again as I always enjoyed dipping in and out of your posts.
I realise yourself and John are camera shy, I wonder if you could get creative and have pictures with Billie but not revealing your identity? Failing that, as a long term reader I have always wondered what the three of you look like age, height, build, hair colour etc. Could you describe what actors would play you in a film of your life. Just a bit of fun.😎
Thank you, Interesting is certainly one way of describing our lifestyle. It isn't for everyone, and that is fine, each to their own.
With reference photos, John is very specific that he won't take part in the blog, which is a shame as we (billie and I) that it would be good to get his take on things.
On our original blog I did appear in a few of our photos with billie and also kerri appeared with billie.
We only did a few for going out on the blog, We've only really re-started doing photos again after some feed back and encouragement from Poppet SubSlut – Its her fault! We may look at doing some "creative" photos in the future.
The actors question, thats a very good one, I've never given that a thought! Thats probably a whole blog article in its self.
I'll give that some thought?
Age wise Mick will be 58 this year and I'll be 53, John is still i his 40s. I'm of an age where I regularly change my hair colour (but not a purple or pink rinse!) but lockdown has made me rethink about be natural – grey, it's just the thought of the time it takes to let my normal hair colour come through.
As for build, John is tall just over 6',and lean (not thin) as he does quite a bit of running, Mick just says to everyone he is stocky at 5'7" and I come in at 5'6 but I have always worn some type of heel so a lot of people think I'm taller than Mick.
Regards
Alice (Madam)
Alice (Madam)-
Thank you again for a wonderful post. I appreciate all the backstory (oh my, did I say “back story”?) and details of how things progressed. While I recalled some, of course, it is always good to have a refresher after all this time.
First, congratulations on your career success. Certainly you’ve always seemed very intelligent and a good writer. I’m glad that your (work!) talents were recognized at the office, and your been promoted and done so well.
I very much love the way you described Mick and your relationship. That is very important, and so touching. (Here, for your background, to spice up a fading sex life, I tested being Dominant once, and Wife said, nope, we’re not doing that again. Shortly thereafter, i and then We recognized I was much better as a submissive, so that’s how things started here. The added benefit of Her deciding when —or if, ugh — we have sex stopped fighting over that and improved clarity and our relationship. The rest followed pretty naturally. I did ask her if she was Interested at all in taking another lover, male or female, and she indicated not at that time, at least. She hasn’t brought it up again, so I suppose she is ok with that.)
I enjoyed recalling how you got started again, and times before John. Your extract — and billie’s link — were wonderful, thank you for including them. In your description John comes across as intelligent, inquisitive, and prepared. All things that must have attracted you to him. Besides his attractiveness otherwise, and prowess!
It’s most fortunate for You Two to be able to go out in town and be seen as a full-time couple. Mick/billie seems so helpful facilitating that. Your story about Mick being the prior owner/businessman renter is brilliant! I’m so impressed.
Well, I’ll stop here, but so many thoughts in my mind, and I thank you again. Now, since I am not caged, i have to fight an urge or two. Maybe if I think of England?
Yours, SaraE
Dear Madam Alice,
First off an apology from me for being so late responding to your post (especially as i prompted it), and to the post concerning billie's outfits previously. What fascinating, delightful and inspiring (as ever) reads!
It is always very obvious to me how much you love and adore billie but also that you are both lucky to have another person in your life like John. The three of you really are a very special triumvirate. i know another person asked which actors would play each of you in a movie but personally i think there is enough material there to make a whole TV series, or three, not just a movie. i can almost imagine Netflix knocking at your door! 🙂
Out of curiosity, do you ever worry in case you bump into someone you know whilst you are with the 'wrong' partner?
i know his circumstances were/are quite different to mine but i do get where billie came from when he approached you worrying he might drive you away (i also understand your anger at him thinking you might leave). i too sometimes worry that i don't (haven't for over a decade) and am probably no longer capable of giving Owner pleasure in the way i might once have done. Although She still seems to enjoy my tongue and Her toys i can understand fully why billie said what he did at the time. i have always said to Owner that were She ever to desire someone else (to my knowledge She never has) they'd still end up with me in tow as well!
In your reply to the first comment above you mentioned about potentially doing some creative photos in future. All i can say is, keep 'em coming! Your audience, well this one at least, loves them.
You also mentioned about hair dyes. Whilst we were in Spain at New Year Owner put some temporary blue highlights in my hair (the kind that wash straight out). The view of Her, her mum, her sister and sister-in-law was that they looked good on me. So now i am kind of hoping i might be allowed to get permanent blue highlights. What do you think? i am not sure what my work might think but, well, who cares.
Love to you all from Owner and i
p
x
Sara,
Thank you for the very kind words. I've been very fortunate that the man I worked for at Leicester, while a gruff old bugger with what many viewed as a traditional out look on work, missed the point with him he wanted high standards and didn't care who or what delivered them – a man or a woman. He also did a lot to try an spot talent and to develop it, thats where I landed lucky and he saw something that I wasn't aware of. Also when I started the new job, I had Mick help me learn more about Projects and how to manage then. Mick is a very good tutor.
As for writing, my work brought in a Professional writer and ran a course in creative writing to help improve the standard of our reports. It was a really good course and I certainly learned a lot from it. I even managed to persuade Mick to do a course in writing.
For us the change from an ALPHA -ALPHA marriage to a FLR really did help. The tension dropped and we could get back to fixing our problems. I'm not saying it is the complete answer but it works for us.
John is very intelligent and open minded, thats what attractive. Also the fact that he listens and can switch on to the relationship and switch it off. Any most important he gets the Madam and billie part of us and at no point has he overstepped the mark. if he wants to push the boundaries or "sail very close to them" we discuss it ahead of time.
The part with the renting of the office, was Micks idea, he needed an office area and prior to the move was considering a small office space but the building and store shed in the Garden meet his requirements with a little bit of work. so technically……we're not telling that big of a lie, more of a fib.
Sara, just because you are not caged doesn't mean that you can misbehave….what would your Mistress Say?
take care
Alice (Madam)
Poppet,
No apology required, I'm aware that you have been under the weather of late.
I know that I am incredibly fortunate with my two boys, but especially Mick/billie.
I dread to think about if anyone tried to create this as a film or programme. I'm sure the Americas would say this doesn't happen in England, we need to set it in New York…I think they would lack the knowledge of what goes on in suburban and rural Britain. They would need to talk to the country's professional curtain twitchers!
Yes we have bumped into someone from work, when we were out in bedford, many years ago. We had a brief chat on the street and I introduced Mick as my boyfriend. At work on Monday she came and saw me and she quietly asked if my boyfriend (Mick) knew about the couple of nights out that I'd had with girls from work where i "got Lucky". I told her no he didn't and she just laughed and called me a "bit of a dark horse". We may well have been spotted by others but no one has mentioned it. when we are at Leicester it is mainly to see family so it is a rather close circle.
as for billie and our relationship, he makes me happy and feel safe. I've seen him submissive and dominant, calm and angry. He is increadibly protective of me, and there is only one aspect of him that has ever frightened me with him, I was threatened by an individual and I saw a very different Mick appear, for a very short period of time, very focus, calm, very controlled aggression and a level of determination to remove the threat, and once it was done then it disappeared, Mick was back and within 20 minutes I had billie back.
My advice to anyone in a FLR, is trust and talk to each other. Carol taught me that it isn't about the submissive being there for the Dom, it's actually about the Dom looking after the submissive. Submissive's offer their all to a Dom and that is a gift that must be cherished, looked after and nurtured. I must make sure that I give billie what he needs to be happy. just because that isn't the conventional things in life doesn't matter. From a sub's POV make your Dom happy, contented and let them know they are loved – oh dear more drippy lovey dovey stuff. we have all of that so why would I give that up, push come to shove I will always chose Mick/billie.
on the photos, you have encouraged us to do more, we do quite enjoy it, it will predominately be billie but I may take a partial step into the limelight but you won't get all of me, we will see, but there will certainly be more photos. I can also state that John is really not a "David Bailey" when it comes to camera! bless him does try!
As for my hair, still toying with the idea of letting my grey come through. With reference your hair dye, perhaps go something more subtle first and then slowly increase the colour – we have two men at work that dye their hair funky colours, well really one dyes his beard, started off with a amber henna colour and now we get all sorts of colour, they have really embraced the Midlife crisis and smashed it! so start with some streaks in a contrasting natural colour and then work your way to a blue highlights or streaks. Your hair is coming on in length I notice.
Take Care
P-thank you for your commenting and questions here. Always good to read your thoughts.
Madam- Here, I have especially appreciated visualizing how great it was that Mick flashed anger and protection to assist you.. and then immediately stepped back into billie role shortly thereafter, where he doubt was more comfortable. Thank you for bringing up the point that it truly is the Domme protecting the sub in FLR relationships. That rinks true here. Finally, so agree you need your mini-series to be in England, not the US! SaraE
Dear Alice (Madam)-
Thank you for the additional context and information, much appreciated. I’m very impressed to hear all the steps you made to your current success. Very impressive indeed. And no doubt Mick did help out with aspects to assist you, like Project. My Wife is very good at that, and I can’t stand it! Fortunately I am good with numbers and spreadsheets, and I suppose some presentations. She is much better at everything else!
And to your question, my Mistress Wife does know I break down and masturbate from time to time. She no doubt would tsk tsk, frown and ask some embarrassing questions I’d have to answer. But for the most part, it’s understood that unless She desires sex, after a period of time (say a week), I am too weak to hold off much longer. It’s one of those don’t ask/tell discussion areas now, usually, unless She is curious. Of course, She might inspect my panties in the bin for evidence, but I don’t think She does anymore.
I used to get more regular OtK spankings and paddlings, followed by Her supervising my masturbation in large Vanity Fair nylon granny panties. If I were lucky, She would assist just a small amount, as She enjoyed the show. More humiliating was times I would have to kneel rub my pantied member along calves to cum. Great amusement for Her, but certainly emasculating to a great extent to me. One step She used then to establish our new roles in the relationship.
I wish you all a wonderful close to the weekend, and a great week ahead. Maybe even some sun!
Thanks again, Sara
Madam Alice- seems She might have known. I was sent on an errand to the grocery for JUST a cucumber and a zucchini… The checkout woman raised her eyebrows 🙂